I don’t know what you see,
a frightened child,
a smiling sunflower ready to be caught?
I see the arms I used to love,
and I’m just reading out your words,
wishing to have another chance to be kissed again.
And I just wish a change of season,
looking through maroon falling leaves,
leaving traces on the ground,
leaving paths you can follow.
You told me to be strong,
but all I got is a voice.
Spectators of the turning of the tables,
standing still in the bruising poignant neon bedrooms,
violence all around us,
a gate getting closed by my grandmother,
her voice, her wartime stories,
fear, fascists bursting into her house.
Then I see a whore, in the daylight,
a sad story on her shoulder,
haggling with a young man about her price.
He drives away.
I walk by to avoid the sadness that I feel in my heart.
A dog is barking in the distance.
Then my secret love,
a passion dried out,
the world enclosed in my dark secret place,
how we laughed on that summer day,
how we kissed each other in the sunlight,
the sensation of living something somehow unique.
Then the hustling of the city,
the tower standing out against the blue of the sky,
a silver sphere where I would have liked to go,
curved houses erected on the canal,
a cold, freezing wind is howling,
while the sun sets and I walk away.
The heart troubles in the night,
I remember how much I longed for a sign,
and now I can just wonder who I am,
who we are,
caught in the whistle.
But in the darkness I recognize that something’s missing.
While I wait for a change,
as illusions fade away as the tether between us,
and I grow stronger and well-aware that you weren’t the one for me,
I listen to my father grumbling, crying out his own unhappiness.
His misfortune, the disgrace to have had a gay son,
the tragedy that he lives everyday.
I know that the wounds on my skin are healing,
as I write this lines the murmuring is just a shadow
and all I need is a warm embrace.
All I need are two arms protecting me from the world,
while I dance in my own tears,
and my feet freeze.
A distant world,
a blue sphere dancing in the blackness,
an immortal, unbreakable silence,
the prince and the patrol by my side,
looking for something to revive the magic,
in the valley of forbidden sounds.
The city pulses in its hectic life,
a million stories collide for a moment,
I see people talking,
and I’d like to know everything about them,
I see lips producing words,
and I’d like to kiss them all.
Then I see the lips that I liked to kiss,
then I remember our bodies touching,
how you confessed me your secrets,
then your smiles.
White blinding light,
the warmth I was looking for.
The desire of having you for a night,
sunlight that makes this day bearable,
a sincere smile from another human being,
the cruel world we live in.
Kill the bear, make him suffer,
slaughter his puppies,
grab the treasure.
Put a smile on his dead face,
and enjoy the gold you achieved.
a storm is coming,
guns are feasting,
thunders are roaring.
Kill the man,
kill the dream,
far from home,
far from me.
sun’s flare on the blue planet,
today, a cool wind’s blowing,
creating a hideaway from all this,
I can’t believe this love was an illusion,
but this silence is deadlier as a desert highway in the coldest winter.
Our planet is sick,
I’m drawn, make it to me.
Set the fire, prepare dinner in the afternoon,
A convention, an idea, a system, a waiting game.
A love lasted three days, pure perfection of life’s turning point.
We weren’t an illusion,
we were true. We were just me and you.
A return to the origin,
the opening of the breach,
a little crack in a huge time armor.
Time won’t set,
time doesn’t change,
time doesn’t heal scars.
I got to this by opening the door,
opening my soul,
feeling a deep storm within.
A cliff made of souls,
waves beating down those black rocks.
I’m trapped into the net,
and I need solid ground, balance.
Your face cheers me on the beach,
a familiar smile,
a voice that I can trust.
A deep inner imbalance melts itself into empathy,
a love never loved,
your face is still clear, after all,
you’re a drawing carved in my skin.
I’m still here remembering the exciting perfume of your skin,
a perfume attached on me.
I was smelling right where you walked by,
waiting impatiently for one, single, little embrace,
observing the littleness of your movements,
figuring out how would have been to get lighted up by such a glimmering shining source of light.
Stories surround me,
I’m surprised by their unattended power,
while I can feel heavy steps breaking the flux up,
a prison that you can watch,
you can watch my words.
Tears in the darkness of my throat,
tears casted in the deep again,
a feeling that I wanted to cry out,
that I wanted to confess to you, leaning on you.
I was staring in your eyes.
My own self, my own inner father has stopped me.
The wall has raised.
I am looking for something, I am looking for an embrace,
but I’m searching for something else,
I want to go further,
I want your arms,
a fence around my wall,
a chink, a fall
an important difference.
Do you feel like loitering far away?
You feel isolate, on the outer side of the events.
But we are on two different sides,
we distance from each other everyday,
we carry on on faraway patterns, with no connections.
Your hope is a dead end,
tears in the rain,
a closure, the growth of the parasite.
I feel an indescribable littleness,
while I watch this screaming paper,
listening the sirens of the bombs on the other side of the sea,
cut off arms, blood flowing.
In violence’s absurd game,
I feel a distance from humanity,
when I watch its incapacity to accept.
What’s the reason of stepping on each other?
What’s the the point to kill another soul?
Why do we have to live in desperation?
Wars that I don’t understand,
stupid, fool human reality,
imperfect destiny’s mistake,
illogical creatures with no consciousness or morality,
grains of cosmic dust,
crumbs in the never-ending blue of sky,
conquerors of plastic goals.
The city pulsates, cruel in its terrific height,
cold like ice, like a blade on the skin.
A machine-gun. Shots.
Other steps, other interruptions.
I just wish to be a decent man,
I just wish to be accepted.