Archivi Blog

Waving Flag

While my own skin betrays me,

and words of hate have been said from their mouth,

a shut up mouth, an ignoring mouth, a sealed mouth,

I feel that I exist at last.

I am.

They can’t destroy my being with their denial,

they can’t change who I would like to love.

I will wave my flag,

I will stop blaming myself for my mistakes,

and one day, maybe really soon, this boy will be fine.

Annunci

Spark

My mind is filled with thoughts,

then in the moment of writing,

a nothingness catches my heart paralyzing my hands.

I watch the blank page,

waiting for words to flow, to throw out, to describe my world,

what my eyes see around me.

And it feels like I’m fighting a lost battle,

it feels like my dreams dry in the sun,

drop by drop they all flow back into my heart,

and I would like to scream out,

Stop! Come out!

Let me get relief from my demons,

let me feel that I’m good at something!

Let me be able to harshly describe my deepest feelings,

with no pity, with no remorse.

Getting hope from the blue sky,

getting shattered by my family’s refusal.

I want to see hope between the burning flames,

I want to walk under a sky that is my sky, my world, my life, built with my own hands!

I am going insane, hallelujah!

Am I lost out at sea?

I’m floating through life’s pattern,

my hand is ready to be held,

to return the warmth to sender.

I’m ready to get read,

these words will reach nobody’s heart,

but it’s not a good reason to give up.

Deep down, beyond all darkness,

at the end of every little path,

a light shines, a spark of hope that I have to follow still remains,

beyond all sufferings and absurdities,

that little flickering light calls me.

And while I walk this path alone,

I see people stuck in their own prisons,

incapable to smile, to feel something,

to open their hearts.

That’s when I smile,

and I become aware that this is the right direction.

Edinburgh II

As I watch your silhouette fading away through the airport’s door,
I stumble down on my knees,
I play music, I cry like a baby because you’re not here with me anymore,
and probably you never will be.
An Atlantic distance between the two of us,
I know, it would make it a challenge.
As spring explodes in the shadow of the castle,
I sit alone in the sun you’ve seen,
as a dog barks and old souls hope for a better future.
Though spring is here for me it’s still September,
flowers bloom only on Arthur’s Seat.
People and stories go by,
and I can only think of you, of your sweet smile,
of your accent while speaking,
of the way you move when you show me things,
of your irresistible shyness.
Then a crossroad,
the drunk night of feelings,
and you already plan your next trip.
I see the green meadows in the sunshade,
I see us, holding hands, walking peacefully
creating the seed of infinite.
A dream, an illusion,
while life leads us astray,
and I still can recall your voice,
that fragile moment before it disappears in the flow.
And then I plan, I try to figure out what could I do,
to be that special man, to be the privileged,
who could kiss you under the castle’s hill.

Entanglement

I am sitting in this bar alone,
as the sun outside waver to rise.
The cappuccino gets cold,
and an old song plays on the radio.
Fog, rain, and the door opening.
A low-vibe day,
I’m snuggling undercover with a thought,
play.
And the thoughts in my head wreck havoc,
while the world spins slowly around,
People Help the People now,
exploding ground in paradise.
And that boy crying for help,
he has learned to swallow the venom,
to keep anger down,
and to fake a scenery of plastic success.
That boy has learned to smile,
to see beauty in a simple drop of rain.
to feel how cold can be a refusal,
to feel how wrong and perfect can be to love.
And the thoughts in my head wreck havoc,
a speech I can’t get,
you, sat on the sofa, snorting snow,
my love sinking in the ocean,
my knife stabbing your back,
the blood from your heart,
a flowing creek of crooked thistles,
and then liberty.
Two other bodies enter the room,
they speak my mother tongue,
I don’t want to hear my mother tongue anymore,
as the bombs explode on the boot,
and children are killed for the sake of the Unknown
the words in my head wreck havoc.

The Last Grip

A hug from a distance,
a warmness that lasts a minute,
the cold of winter surrounding our naked bodies.
You turn on the other side,
and I follow the strange presence of a body,
a warm human body next to mine.
Your kisses are full of heaven,
but inside I burn of emptiness,
while your smile was everything I wanted to see,
on that cold, dark night.
Just for one little time, just on that moment.
And I promise you that I won’t try it anymore,
I won’t dream of me and you anymore,
I will just turn away from your story.
My destiny is far away,
the long-needed separation is behind the corner,
the challenge.
I’m starving of being good at something,
the accent I can’t understand,
the automatic response of my brain.
A future, from where I will be able to watch that single night,
smile at it, write to you,
and find that same old fragile tension.
The last hopes that hold me here,
thin ropes about to stretch and break,
letting me free to fly in the warmer air of the path,
all dreams funnel on iron wings,
in the sun, in the brilliance I can see under palm trees,
other people, other fears,
and in dreams, I’m sure I will still hold your warm hands,
my last rope,
my last invisible grip.

Fear of Love

Your face smiling from a diagram of lives,
I look at you,
I don’t feel nothing,
useless lust lost in the fog of this week,
Christmas lights flickering in the new twilight.
Time slows down now,
memories that give me nausea,
a face like yours.

Yours.
Y
o
URS. US. U. S. My shield.

Another voice.
Silence.
Beat.
Refusal.
Stay away.
No pleasure.
And I’m afraid of love,
My walls are high around me,
they will defend my bleeding heart.

A touch that hurts,
tears dried as we tore apart,
words written in a chemical madness,
your will to touch me.
Closure. Stay away from me.
Don’t make this shiny armor explode. *
I *
——————————————————— * * * *
Explosion.
And if you want to skim over my soul,
please do that gently,
then lay me down and disappear,
give me the best memory,
I won’t never cry for you,
but I will fly away.
No love lost,
It still feels hard.

And I remember once upon a time,
wasting lovers every night,
bored at heart,
needing tenderness on the surface,
I would have waited for you;
and if you think of me once in a while,
I will keep our dearest memories in my heart.

Compassion

Nothing but telling stories,
in the blurry sunset of this foggy day,
please show me some compassion,
let me slide in the space between,
letters appearing in the white,
it’s the best thing I can do,
please show me some compassion,
while I’m stuck in my little space,
aside, aside, push me aside,
losing love, anger grows,
no chances on the horizon,
wounded hearts can change,
walking on the shore,
sunset, red sun, wishing words,
please show me some compassion,
tell me that you wanna go home.

The Silence

The cold bites my body,
a sense of loneliness,
that I would have never thought to feel,
her abandon. She cries like a baby.
I try to look for a place to hide,
but the only solution would be to get under the covers,
receive the warmth of the night,
release my body through the land of dreams,
instead of resisting here,
to fake the existence while I want for a change,
and I share some words with a far-away soul.
Parallel lines,
or points heading to a crash?
Then, after the smoke will be swept away,
and the riot will begin,
what will you do?
Where will you take shelter?
Under the table ice is consolidating in huge buckets,
Silence.
Words left alone.
The desire of feeling a human body close to mine,
the sudden feeling of an arm around my chest.
Other noises, other silences.
She sleeps, she hopes to wake up to a greener world,
while I wake up feeling the blue.
Then I build up my smile,
try to be strong through the day,
telling me endlessly: you are you,
you fell into the greatest mistake of your life,
allowing an unintelligible destiny
to chain my wings to the ground,
allowing my brain not to run away,
to tell you that I loved you.
But I lied..
Why? Still I ask myself why.
Then path became slippery,
and I followed the flow,
but inside, that chance, that flight that I should have caught,

is still there waiting for me.
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Still silence,
undeniable silence.
The blinding smile of a perfection behind the screen.
Kiss him,
stop to cry,
wipe away your tears.
Stand up.

Bloom

A simple request from you,
a smell reaching my nose,
I’m broken.
I trust the words I’ve been spoken,
can you give me a glimpse of hope?
Traveling on the rainy road,
in the flashing light of the cars,
staring at the blue of the sky,
that sad gray nuance I get used to.

Autumn,
intense colors hit my sight,
friends and frozen moments.
I can’t believe you’re not by my side anymore,
and I’m broken again.
A guitar chord,
she sings whispering,
a sweet smile on his face,
the hope of being loved by him.
They dance in the night.

They dance in the night.
Such an unusual sight,
a drum phases in,
then silence and her prayer.
A tragedy far beyond you and me.
The water from the sky melts together with our tears,
all I can feel,
is that I’m broken.
Give me a handshake,
can I get used to to my life?
Lose the will to fight?

The one word we use the most is “goodbye”,
trying to be kind,
he smokes too much,
his lungs are black,
I ear his coughs, the phlegm he spits,
a venom in his body.
The words he said to me.
And I was broken.
“I’m ashamed of you”
“What I’ve done?”
“I can’t look at you”

Flowers bloom from the snow,
I can see them push to breathe,
I am yours,
if you don’t question my faith.
I love like a human being,
I want to fell happy like a child,
understand that my life has a meaning.
I’ve bloomed.
I’m not broken anymore.

Düsseldorf

I don’t know what you see,
a frightened child,
a smiling sunflower ready to be caught?
I see the arms I used to love,
and I’m just reading out your words,
wishing to have another chance to be kissed again.

And I just wish a change of season,
looking through maroon falling leaves,
leaving traces on the ground,
leaving paths you can follow.
You told me to be strong,
but all I got is a voice.

Spectators of the turning of the tables,
standing still in the bruising poignant neon bedrooms,
violence all around us,
a gate getting closed by my grandmother,
her voice, her wartime stories,
fear, fascists bursting into her house.

Then I see a whore, in the daylight,
a sad story on her shoulder,
haggling with a young man about her price.
He drives away.
I walk by to avoid the sadness that I feel in my heart.
A dog is barking in the distance.

Then my secret love,
a passion dried out,
the world enclosed in my dark secret place,
how we laughed on that summer day,
how we kissed each other in the sunlight,
the sensation of living something somehow unique.

Then the hustling of the city,
the tower standing out against the blue of the sky,
a silver sphere where I would have liked to go,
curved houses erected on the canal,
a cold, freezing wind is howling,
while the sun sets and I walk away.

The heart troubles in the night,
I remember how much I longed for a sign,
and now I can just wonder who I am,
who we are,
caught in the whistle.
But in the darkness I recognize that something’s missing.

While I wait for a change,
as illusions fade away as the tether between us,
and I grow stronger and well-aware that you weren’t the one for me,
I listen to my father grumbling, crying out his own unhappiness.
His misfortune, the disgrace to have had a gay son,
the tragedy that he lives everyday.

I know that the wounds on my skin are healing,
as I write this lines the murmuring is just a shadow
and all I need is a warm embrace.
All I need are two arms protecting me from the world,
while I dance in my own tears,
and my feet freeze.

A distant world,
a blue sphere dancing in the blackness,
an immortal, unbreakable silence,
the prince and the patrol by my side,
looking for something to revive the magic,
in the valley of forbidden sounds.

The city pulses in its hectic life,
a million stories collide for a moment,
I see people talking,
and I’d like to know everything about them,
I see lips producing words,
and I’d like to kiss them all.

Then I see the lips that I liked to kiss,
then I remember our bodies touching,
how you confessed me your secrets,
then your smiles.
White blinding light,
the warmth I was looking for.

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Quartz

Quartz is a digitally native news outlet for the new global economy.

Herman van Bon Photography

Fine Art Photography, Napier, South Africa.

The Little Butch That Could

Soft Butch in a New Country

Breaking Red

Confessioni di una lesbica 2.0, anche se a volte dimentico di fare l'aggiornamento!

Life In The Fag Lane

Stories from a gay man living in a not-so-gay world.

lgbticons

Celebrating LGBT people of achievement

Modern Day Stonewall

The struggle isn't over.

Straight, No Chaser.

A Traditional Photography Blog - dehk © 2016

SwittersB & Exploring

Photography, Fly fishing, Life, Visuals & Fun

Tokyobling's Blog

Tokyo in Photos

BEGUILING HOLLYWOOD

If you want a little historical perspective you're home.

Source of Inspiration

All is One, co-creating with the Creator

amerblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Global Sojourns Photography

Photography & Philosophy

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

Deathsplanation

n. 1. The act or process of explaining about death 2. Something that explains about death 3. A mutual clarification of misunderstandings about death; a reconciliation.

Behind the White Coat

Beats a real human heart...