My mind is filled with thoughts,
then in the moment of writing,
a nothingness catches my heart paralyzing my hands.
I watch the blank page,
waiting for words to flow, to throw out, to describe my world,
what my eyes see around me.
And it feels like I’m fighting a lost battle,
it feels like my dreams dry in the sun,
drop by drop they all flow back into my heart,
and I would like to scream out,
Stop! Come out!
Let me get relief from my demons,
let me feel that I’m good at something!
Let me be able to harshly describe my deepest feelings,
with no pity, with no remorse.
Getting hope from the blue sky,
getting shattered by my family’s refusal.
I want to see hope between the burning flames,
I want to walk under a sky that is my sky, my world, my life, built with my own hands!
I am going insane, hallelujah!
Am I lost out at sea?
I’m floating through life’s pattern,
my hand is ready to be held,
to return the warmth to sender.
I’m ready to get read,
these words will reach nobody’s heart,
but it’s not a good reason to give up.
Deep down, beyond all darkness,
at the end of every little path,
a light shines, a spark of hope that I have to follow still remains,
beyond all sufferings and absurdities,
that little flickering light calls me.
And while I walk this path alone,
I see people stuck in their own prisons,
incapable to smile, to feel something,
to open their hearts.
That’s when I smile,
and I become aware that this is the right direction.
A life is gone,
a fighter, a light.
Tears get back into my eyes,
a sudden feeling of impatience,
while a subdued world flows by.
People kill the people,
notes on the wall,
a straight existence.
I am proud of who I am.
I will love to love you,
As the trees whisper in my ears
I’m lost in the forest.
I am sure that one day I will find the light,
while he slowly murmurs that he loves me,
I know that you lied.
An organ plays in the background,
I don’t need you.
You expect something I can’t give.
She drinks, she drinks, she drinks,
Clocks are ticking,
our world ruled by time,
your smile high above me.
In the sudden loneliness of the 8th,
your illusions, the dreams that you think they’re broken,
the shame you feel.
I don’t care about it,
as the forest gets brighter you’re just a shadow in the blinding shade,
and you cried your desperation,
I’ve chosen the other path.
I get drunk,
I forget your face,
in the fog, in the light.
Your presence still lingers around me,
I find myself singing the music we sang when we were together,
I’m still waiting patiently for you to see,
how much I loved you.
So tired of this lonely air,
Watching shadows and people pass by.
Drums played by a broken heart,
a rhythm I’m trying to breathe.
It doesn’t matter if you return to me,
you set me free,
and the love we lived has been so pure,
that I can just say thank you to you.
In my hands shines the gold your skin released,
in my mind the smiles we shared are blinding stars,
When we kissed in the sunset, in water,
When you embraced me so tight I was sure you’d have been mine forever,
when you kissed me goodbye.
You refuse to see this,
so don’t see it anymore,
I’ll keep the fire burning,
waiting for the next step,
remembering your sweet eyes,
crying for them for good.
Still believing to the sentences we shared,
I can’t give up this dream of mine.
I find myself dreaming of you,
while I cut the rope that keeps your boat anchored to my port.
I will greet your shadow sailing to a silver destiny,
I will wave my hand to say goodbye to the hope you were to me.
Please go away fast,
but don’t forget about me.
I won’t forget about you, and what we’ve shared under the two moons.
And all I wish is still to wake up in your arms,
the place where I would have liked to stop.
There inside it’s so warm and cozy.
There, inside your arms, a secret heaven that’s mine no more.
I’ve seen all the colors in your eyes,
the shape of your shadow, blinding in the heat of the summer night.
I will keep this yellow light on for you,
so in case you’ll come back, you’ll find your way home.
Shine, yellow light. Spread what’s left to hope.
Under the lights, aside, apart from the mess.
I see unnamed meaning’s faces, talking and moaning,
erasing their protections as the clock ticks on.
Faces, smarter people.
A sweetness forbidden.
I watch them from a distance,
too weak to make a move,
too stunned to feel something.
He touches her,
an interests. Beats.
I want to cry so bad,
let me cry, I want my tears back.
I can’t stand the difference of time,
standing under the dimming light of the moon.
There’s no one around me, I’m alone.
No time to understand what’s going on, no time to think.
The river flows unrelentingly,
between the Valleys of the Meadows of Heaven,
the peak of the Mountain still shines.
I’m in the hole, waiting for the time.
The Road, like a snake, crawls in the valley covered up by the thick morning sun.
The Sun, like a gentle eye in the sky, hides himself in the tricky grey stripes.
People, cars, lives, the fog on sewed fields, the days are growing warmer.
A room, where to hide. A trick to let the feelings stand off.
The monster. The knife I used to hurt you, your hopes bleeding on my indifference.
Dawn, sunsets, faces, the music.