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Spark

My mind is filled with thoughts,

then in the moment of writing,

a nothingness catches my heart paralyzing my hands.

I watch the blank page,

waiting for words to flow, to throw out, to describe my world,

what my eyes see around me.

And it feels like I’m fighting a lost battle,

it feels like my dreams dry in the sun,

drop by drop they all flow back into my heart,

and I would like to scream out,

Stop! Come out!

Let me get relief from my demons,

let me feel that I’m good at something!

Let me be able to harshly describe my deepest feelings,

with no pity, with no remorse.

Getting hope from the blue sky,

getting shattered by my family’s refusal.

I want to see hope between the burning flames,

I want to walk under a sky that is my sky, my world, my life, built with my own hands!

I am going insane, hallelujah!

Am I lost out at sea?

I’m floating through life’s pattern,

my hand is ready to be held,

to return the warmth to sender.

I’m ready to get read,

these words will reach nobody’s heart,

but it’s not a good reason to give up.

Deep down, beyond all darkness,

at the end of every little path,

a light shines, a spark of hope that I have to follow still remains,

beyond all sufferings and absurdities,

that little flickering light calls me.

And while I walk this path alone,

I see people stuck in their own prisons,

incapable to smile, to feel something,

to open their hearts.

That’s when I smile,

and I become aware that this is the right direction.

The Cliff #2

We’re just wondering to care for each other,
6 hours ago we were just shadows in the multitude.
While my head turns fast,
drunk in a sudden feeling I wasn’t expecting.
Is that the danger I was waiting for?
Just tell me I’ll be able to control it,
to be as I’d like to be.
As words go by,
and the view becomes clearer,
I just want to be embraced by a dream.

I’m addicted to my loneliness,
to my safe refuge.
Will I allow you to touch me?
I know you’re a risk,
I know that you could make me lose my balance.
A beat in the dark,
the words of the Queen.
A pale statue-like face staring in the void.
Her skin looks like porcelain,
as silence becomes an unbearable relief.

I don’t know you.
I’m stuck in fears.
I’m trembling.

My heart doesn’t know love anymore,
slow down, slow down.
Breathe. A slow motion kiss.

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