A red ‘E’ hanging on the wall,
the heat suffocates me.
My eyes are cascading,
words that are a whirlwind, a mess, an undistinguished murmur.
How can they speak about that all the time? How can they just talk like this?
I feel on the outside, I don’t want to be like them.
They don’t want to meet me,
that smile could be my safety, but I will never be brave enough to open my mouth.
A red beard. A vanishing face, bloddy lips.
I don’t want to get out of this safe refuge.
I want to touch their skin, I want to be their head, I want the peace and joy and quietness in their mind.
The strength of their means, no uncertainties.
Neons, my eyelids are heavy.
Smile for me, without knowing that I’m watching you,
your big arms shine as a safe harbor.
I’m ashamed, wrong, the fag you hate.
The judgement of the world is smashing my sensations.